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Sunday, June 13, 2010

Trnnnn Trnnnn…

“Morning” I called as I walked past tapping my rommie still on bed. “Sun is on head” I continued as I headed to the kitchen.

After popping a couple of sugar cubes into the mug, I dug the trays to get out makings for tea, a pleasant combination of cardamom and ginger tea bags. A custom-made tea with tea-leaves, milk and sugar would be any day heaven than these off-the-rack tea bags. Hot tea flanking with a couple of cookies, diced apples, a cup of cereals and 10 soaked almonds with Monday magazine – could I only reverie now. I did have this luxury till a year back when my genie used to cosset me with servings on bed.

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“Mom, I am 27 and I understand what I am doing, don’t treat me a kid”. I tried reasoning with her, persuading her to see me off to the University of Rochester for a Post Grad. degree in Imaging. Nothing seemed to work. She needed to understand that I could take my own decisions now that I am a grown-up girl. “Yes dear, you are a big girl now. It’s time for you settle in life and focus on your family ladder.” – She retorted. Least I wished then was to get into wedlock. I had no lavishing bank balance to pay for my studies at New York too to catch up with my dream. I wanted my mother to liquidify her bank balance and use it on my education than on marriage. I resisted! There was friction. The only instant decision I could make to prove self-determining then was to move away from home and live independently. I walked out of home to live close to my office. The Paying Guest accommodation housed working women from different companies from a nearby Tech Park.


Life was on wheels, no stillness…Running with the world had become the mantra. A year had gone past my shoulder and I did manage to live a life away from my people which I had once found hard to even imagine.

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“Hey, You still on bed? Up and scuttle. Weekend is long gone. Catch you in the evening” – I saw my sleeping friend off. It was Aug 11th, indeed a day imperative in my life; the day I opened my eyes to this compelling world. I hardly remembered the date; neither was I interested in keeping track of each day of my life. Where do we have the tear-away calendars in a PG that typical SouthIndian homes preserve! Novels scattered over tiny shabby beds, mobile phone chargers hanging loose from the switch board, dresses helter-skelter, a TV cum showcase hosting pens, invitation cards, gifts from boyfriends, cinema/concert tickets is a scene typical of any PG accommodation. The only nice thing about this housing was it was close to my office. So close that I could walk down with my sleepy eyes…it doesn’t take me big roads to negotiate traffic, heavy vehicles’ horns to keep my ears open to. The time I realize I am out of PG, I would be in my seat.

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“Where did you pick my name from? I say, delete the entry right now and don’t bother to disturb me on a Monday morning again”. I knew it dint sound polite. Far from it! I was but helpless. I work for an MNC with encumbered schedules and unplanned meetings all day. Agreed! The call from ICICI would have been purely a business call offering some value added service. But, it was not in my interest. Such calls had become more a nuisance of late. I was pondering if I could file a case on ICICI for a million rupees. That could atleast help chase my Rochester dream.

I headed back to prepare for the presentation I had in little time.

“There is little literature work on recognition algorithms in past 2 decades, Mr. Kim. The available open source is licensed under GPL and could only help us get hands dirty.” Trnnnn Trnnnn…– “Excuse me please!” I paused my presentation and headed to pick the call on my mobile. “Good morning ma’am. This is a call from ICICI….” I bluntly cut the call keeping myself composed amidst a managing team of 10 at the project proposal meeting. “That’s all I had from this presentation. To conclude, this technology survey serves as a gateway for timbre recognition to our novel researchers.” The presentation was well received and I sighed big thanking my weekend’s slog.

Back at desk I looked for my mobile service provider’s Customer Care number to wedge ICICI marketing calls. To add to my irksome mood the call to customer care dint get across. I moaned. I realized I was loud when my nosy cube-mate leaned over to me.

Mondays have never been mine. I guess I take effort to shape my mood bad. It is generally easy for anybody to get on my nerves and Mondays could mean a feast for such folks.

I firmed to get productive for the second half of the day, clear mails and sign off early from work. Trnnnn Trnnnn… “Good afternoon ma’am. This is a call from ICICI….” To be precise, it was 3:23 pm and I hadn’t made through half my work for the day. “I am not interested in any of the value added services you are offering me. Please stop reaching me” - I thought I should say this. So much courtesy should be extended to a fellow corporate working for a company like mine having his own targets. “One more call from you, I shall lodge a complaint with the police” – I heard myself saying. No calls thereafter. That made me comprehend, my only phone friends were the ICICI officials.

Day seemed to end much better than it began. Done with evening chores - I was getting to bed. The mobile phone called one last time for the day. The syrupy ring tone seemed screaming. With a laid-back attitude I picked the call. That was mom! “Happy Birthday sweety! Your absence is very loud, please get back home dear. Hope you liked your Birthday gift. And I hope the amount I transferred to your ICICI account will make up for your Post Grad. Studies you long wished. I requested a representative to convey this surprise gift to you. I give you your due, my dear.”

“A little patience can make life better!”

Friday, June 4, 2010

No Name

I wish I could go back in time when the biggest change round the corner was getting up at 5:30 am to keep on time to the bus. Life has pampered me more than it should have. I am a creature who finds comfort in the enduring phases of life though they might not be as fascinating to the rest. I don’t believe in skating all thro’ the year; I love to pause-by and enjoy every split second of this beautiful life. Simple pleasures like playing with a balloon, sipping a cup of tea sitting on the stairs outdoor, watching the color of a growing leaf turn deeper by days, a board of carom with grandpa, lazy evening walk with mamma, a cuddled sleep with my teddy and heaps more fill my kitty than a giant certificate.

This time around - deep within, there is a resistance for change, tats been the case with me always though - "fear of unknown" or "fear of stepping out of the comfort zone". I do not know! But then thats life all about...Changes come every few years. While some go unnoticed letting us adapt seamlessly, some need towers, tall enough for a seamless transition. After all mind is a petty one and I fully comprehend if it can’t figure the cargo.

The post would be incomplete if I don’t script this one from Jiddu K... He has bemused me many a times, all the same, has lit the path to inward journey... (Not sure which station I am in now:))...Each line of his gets me thinking. I seem to stop reading and start thinking –meaning I ideally haven’t taken off on my expedition yet :)

Here it goes:
"It seems to me that the real problem is the mind itself and not the problem which the mind has created and tries to solve. If the mind is petty, small, narrow, limited, however great and complex the problem may be, the mind approaches that problem in terms of its own pettiness...Though it has extraordinary capacities and is capable of invention, of subtle, cunning thought, the mind is still petty. It may be able to quote Marx, or the Gita, or some other religious book, but it is still a small mind, and a small mind confronted with a complex problem can only translate that problem in terms of itself, and therefore the problem, the misery increases. So the question is: Can the mind that is small, petty, be transformed into something which is not bound by its own limitations?"

Having said that, I know life s beautiful and am sure its gonna get better with time :)